what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
