wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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