Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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