I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
a search helicopter?!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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