I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
