last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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