Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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