I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
