At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize