its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
