I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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