Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize