Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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