I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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