Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize