We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
