Just fell off a train. Bad.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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