dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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