Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
