he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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