I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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