My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
