Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
