Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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