I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The best revenge is premature balding
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize