The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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