so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
