After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need to calm my uterus...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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