Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize