i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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