one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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