The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize