i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize