She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
