I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
