never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
