vagina is talking i cant
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
