I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
