I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
