I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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