Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
