well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
