so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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