why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
