Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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