I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
