Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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