I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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