I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
