Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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