Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
