I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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