How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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