Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
