If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
