are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize