We won't sleep together?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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