in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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