dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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