Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
